Friday, July 28, 2006

The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 007 - The Assault


I logged in and out of my account a few times during the day, to see if I had been ruthlessly podded.

Astonishingly, I had been left completely alone by all who had passed through the system that my ship was in. I was amazed and understandably confused by this outcome.

Had I discovered a great hiding place? Or perhaps a suggestion by a previous poster on these forums was true:

Maybe I was in prime "Care-Bear territory".

Either way, I liked this system and made a note of it as being a very safe place. I safely stored my note for future reference.


I logged in again, after a good sleep, and was stunned to see that, once more, I had not been podded. My ship was perfectly safe in this random system. Amazing.

I decided that it was time to "go home" to my base, and called up my map to plot a course. According to the charts, I was a massive 16 jumps from home sweet home and would have to daringly travel through the D2 Branch-region territory all the way back to my humble abode.

I suspected that having assaulted their heavily guarded castle the previous night and having been chased by one of their lackies, I had probably now caused them to raise the alarm.

I imagined that there would be a multitude of search parties, scouring this quadrant of the galaxy, intent on roasting me on an intergalactic bonfire. I felt like a hunted man.....

I begrudingly said farewell to my new safe-spot:

As I was about to embark on my 16 jump trip home, something abruptly dawned on me. I was reminded of my cat and mouse chase with the evil and heartless Zlake and how I had tried to bluff him by saying:

"OK, you can come out and pod me. I have to go 22 jumps to get back home anyway so you can save me the trip, you'll be helping me out"

What I was enlightened by at that moment was that what I had said was actually true! My clone had cost 1024 isk and I was in a basic shuttle. Why did I need to travel 16 jumps to get home? There was a clear alternative open to me:

I could instantly teleport home if I could just find someone to pod me! I was incredibly pleased with this revelation and immediately set about making my great plan happen.

I hurriedly opened my map and filtered the search feature by "pilots active in space in the last 30 minutes". I was instantly attracted to a location that had a large number of active pilots. The perfect system was K-8SQS. It was then that I decided on what I was going to do to implement my master-plan:

I was to launch an unexpected Kamikaze mission deep into K-8SQS and upon arrival I would "smack-talk" in local until I was brutally podded by an irate resident who would (unbeknownst to him) actually be helping me out.......

A sense of unadulterated excitement swamped me and I plotted my course to the system, which was just 2 quick jumps away. I was looking forward to venting my frustrations on whoever lived there (especially if they were members of the cult of Emilio).......

Less than two minutes later, I forcefully burst into K-8SQS and viciously charged towards the station in my tiny ship.

There were seven pilots here and all I needed to do was to get just one of them to pod me!

Here's how I announced my arrival:

(to be continued......)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

that smack made me laugh :)

3:46 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

just a note... when u logoff in space after about 1 min ur ship warps to a random location imposible to find by anyone. ha ha ha also it is true u have to be in the right alliance to enter certain stations.

9:16 pm  
Anonymous Tristan X said...

ROFL... That is some class smack right there. By the way, I'd look for stations in 0.0 space that are controlled by NPCs - you'll be able to dock at them.

2:52 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

FYI, if you want to get podded to warp to your clone station just set your auto-destruct. Eject from your ship, right click your pod and initiate the countdown. A few seconds later you will end up at the cloners. All this without the hassle of asking someone to do it for you

11:30 pm  
Anonymous x psy said...

I'm enjoying a lot :) ty

2:40 am  
Anonymous Mouse said...

This is fantastic...!

7:36 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just starting to play EVE myself.

I am lmao, reading your adventures.
Its now september 2007.

How are you now?

2:44 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

2009 Jan 30
I'm a fan already.

12:21 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

2009 Feb 10

This is a walk of n00bs, reaching back to touch base with the one true n00b.

10:56 pm  

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