Friday, July 28, 2006

The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 009 - Christian Fundamentalists


My plan had failed miserably. Not only had I not made any progress in my 16 jumps home, but I had actually wasted time, attempting to get these carebear henchmen to dispatch me with vim and gusto.

I had no alternative now. I had to spill the beans...........

These were not hostile and nasty people at all. They were carebears at heart and they knew it.

As soon as I politely asked for their assistance, they had helped me. Perhaps, ultimately, we were destined to become friends. I sat back and smiled as I was lovingly attacked by two pilots:

"C Squared", who was only half the equation (E equals M should be the first part but it wasn't) and Avagos who had the pleasure of laying the final blow:

Bingo! A few seconds later and I was safely back in my clone station in Venal, celebrating my time-saving shortcut! I opened my evemail and enjoyed reading my own kill-mail:

"Hold on a second." - I said to myself. "Look at the alliance the guy who podded me belongs to. Now compare this with the alliance that the first guy who randomly killed me belonged to, at the beginning of my thrilling adventure:"

My suspicions were confirmed. The "Arrow Project" had killed me twice. I was uncontrollably enraged by this heinous revelation and immediately googled them to find out who they really were:

The Arrow Project, a Christian human services organization, serves and strengthens children,families and communities by providing homes and services.

Typical! I had been the victim of a double-homicide, at the hands of Christian Fundamentalists! Unbelievable. Who were these guys? I had many unanswered questions. None of this made sense to me but I was determined to do what Backdoor Bandit does on most weekends:

I would dig deep and get to the bottom of it.

I may be a n00b, but I will not be scuppered by these rampaging vagabonds!

Now that I was back home, it was time to start the next phase of my intrepid adventure. Where would I go? I excitedly opened my map and began to plan my next clueless move.

Should I stay a while longer or should I valiantly march off in another random direction, in search of greater glory? Perhaps I would leave it to my fellow Eve citizens to advise me.......

(to be continued........)


Anonymous teh SuzE (aka s00zster) said...

OMG brilliant (and hilarious)! This story rules, KUTGW!

8:18 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol nice dude.. keep it up

8:25 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i wuv u <3

8:32 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just wish there was a way to set a miner I like there is ISK.

9:23 pm  
Blogger Daz said...

Best EVE related blog ive found so far, i think you should stick in venal for the time being :) or make your way right down to Stain :D

9:43 pm  
Blogger voodoo said...

excellent your fan base is sure to grow

1:21 am  
Anonymous Larech Frodoth said...

I don't think anyone could possibly have the heart to pod you, I know I couldn't if you showed up in our neighborhood.


Fly safe and keep it up!

1:33 am  
Blogger Angelina Starchild said...

Very entertaining reads. Reminds me of when I started a couple of years ago, however took me some time before venturing down to 0.0 :)

Keep on posting, this is good read. Bookmarked :)

1:56 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great stuff. Thanks for the laughs. =)

4:36 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahaha 'I hate emilio estevez'


keep it up

7:29 am  
Anonymous Keldjos Falzir said...

Come on down to Syndicate. We're charming people with good manners. Really. Would I lie to you?

8:09 am  
Anonymous MaeSTROsity said...

Awesome job man, now because of you i have the curage to go to 0.0. Keep it up and fly safe.

8:57 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good stuff man, this has been an excellent read

9:03 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol this is funny stuff.

Oh and:

I leave it up to you tofigure out what that is.

5:14 pm  
Anonymous Teh Hammer said...

This has just made my day, I have been in the office all day busy as hell and thought I know I'll get a coffee and read the forums.

My coffee is now one with my monitor and keyboard and Im going to have a hard time explaining this to the boss.

Perhaps i will plant some emilio pron in his desk and black mail him.

Keep it up we need more players like you.

6:59 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahaha Great kepp em Coming!

3:07 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

come to yz in fountian :)

3:09 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just an outstanding piece of work.
You, my friend, are doing the deed!

8:32 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe christians should be privleged with the oppression introduced to them by mans early leaders in eve as on earth.

Wardec'em all

2:38 pm  

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