Sunday, July 30, 2006

The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 010 - The Shopping Channel


I had decided that today would mark the beginning of the next phase of my thunderously exciting adventure.

However, I was still undecided as to whether this would involve staying in the Venal region, or perhaps daringly casting my fragile net wider and boldly wandering out into the even deeper and darker outback of the forbidding universe.

I concluded that, as a newly initiated 0.0 risk-taker, the best way to approach this was to excitingly just log in and see what happened.

After spawning back at my clone station I had felt like a rare and wondrous Phoenix, majestically flying upwards from the ashes, my wings graciously spread out, radiantly reflecting the sun's rays in a multispectral son-et-lumiere of luminescent magnificence.

A few seconds after my excited awakening in Venal, I began a conversation with two fellow pilots who were talking in Local:


General Gunel

Carbonyte informed me that the area I was docked in was valiantly guarded by the "Synchronizerz", whom he happened to be a member of. Clearly this was a paranoid organisation whose members liked doing everything together.

I had never heard of these people before and naturally I enquired as to their relationship with Mr. Estevez and The Latter Day saints of Jesus Christ. Carbonyte very helpfully suggested that he didn't know of the local Jesuit cult but that I should "read his bio" for more information.

After doing so, lo and behold, I discovered that his people were also "D2 friendly." I let out a large and unrestricted yawn. I quite liked Carbonyte, who was very friendly, but I began to wonder if I would ever randomly pass a pilot who was brave enough to have "I DESPISE D2" written in their bio.

Perhaps, when I become a little bit stronger, I may even dare to do it myself. However, I concluded that this was not a smart course of action at present, as I did not actually hate them.

Hell, I would even go so far as to admit that I found some of Emilio's movies mildly amusing. (Although I can't recall the names of any of them.....)

I think I was just peeved at not being able to breach the moat to their heavily fortified headquarters.

Perhaps it was a case of n00b sour grapes on my part. I had previously resolved that one day I would enter that mighty sanctuary and I re-affirmed this intention to myself right there and then.

I slowly closed my eyes and imagined a glimmering night in the far future, where a war-hardened ex-n00b would heroically return with large and gaping scars across his face and expensive implants in his brain, with tears streaming from his sweat soaked eyes, as thoughts of those painful first days overwhelmed his mind and senses.

A team of dedicated disciples would loyally be at his muscle-bound side, rushing swiftly, but gracefully and nobly, toward that ancient Emerald City.

He would stake his worthy claim upon those oh so fabled fields of the illustrious ore Mercoxit, that had been so close, yet so very far from his young and tender fingers, all those long and memorable years ago. He would fall to the floor of his Battleship in exhaustion, as he laid the final crushing blow and valiantly claimed eternal victory.

However, what actually happened was that I began to engage in a thrilling discussion about the mineral composition of asteroids with General Gunel. He informed me that not being able to mine Mercoxit was only a minor setback, and that a n00b like me would be able to mine the almost equally fabled ore Crokite without much difficulty.

I couldn't help but think that it was 3AM on a Sunday and that I was looking at item number 217305 "Minmatar Faux Mercoxit Hoop Bangles" on QVC. It was cheap, it was tacky and it was not the real thing.....

(to be continued.....)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL, this guy needs to be picked up for some eve website or magazine. Keep it up.

1:58 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Won-der-full! :D i'm so enjoying your story so far! keep up the good work!

2:16 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice story!

You realise now you've tasted 0.0 empire will never seem the same again :-)

6:20 pm  
Anonymous Auman said...

Great blogs mate keep it up!!

8:54 pm  
Blogger Gunner said...

Hmmm this last post lacks a certain vim and vigour of your other posts. My friend ... I believe is't time you took the plunge. Mine that ore.

1:55 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey great, heard you stopped by at our Base in PFQ and met our CEO Carbonyte:)

Hope to see you soon again here in the North!

3:44 pm  

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