Friday, August 18, 2006

The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 027 - Celebrity Doubles (Part 1)

Celebrity Doubles (Part 1)

As I pondered my next move, I received a communication from a fleet commander in a group called ASCN, informing me that I had been granted safe passage and docking rights throughout their entire region and was to be their exalted guest of honour.

Upon talking to this commander, I was also advised that he had been personally assiged to me and that he was my loyal servant, sworn by blood oath to valiantly serve and protect me on my journey south...

Naturally, this was clearly an error of identification. I concluded that there must be a famous celebrity in EVE called INNUMINATE NOOTMARE, who was away on an extended business trip to the other side of the universe.

They must have accidentally confused me with him. I wondered whether I should say anything, or if I should just take advantage of the fortuitous situation and see what happened.

I decided to do the right thing, and kept my mouth shut.....

Damion informed me that I was to be the esteemed guest of honour, at a banquet held in my name, in a system called AZN-D2, far down at the south of the map. I played along with this and decided to see how long it would take them to discover that I was not INNUMINATE and was merely a man in a shuttle.

After studying the map, I observed that the target system was a monstrous 29 jumps further south and that I was currently in the middle of pirate-central (Curse) where there had been many ship and pod kills in the past hour.

Damion offered to nobly travel the 29 jumps to come and pick me up, but I decided that this could result in him questioning me about NOOTMARE's career on the long journey back, and I would end up revealing that I was an imposter. I quickly fobbed him off and declared that I would make my own way down there.

I undocked from the station and warped to the first gate, only to discover that it was covered by a huge warp bubble. I had flown straight into a gate camp.

Luckily, this camp was designed to attack people coming through the gate, not people approaching it and after manually flying out of the bubble I was able to warp away. I made sure to make my feelings clear in the chat box:

The boy scouts who had constructed this camp remained suspiciously quiet so I decided that I would wait it out for a while, before trying again. There were no shuttles for sale at the station I was in and I was concerned that I could be left trying to fly 29 jumps in my pod. I noted the name of one of the pilots:


Some time later, local emptied out and I decided to risk making an escape. I undocked and quickly went to the gate and jumped through, only to discover that I was now to be chased by OUT4BLOOD for the next 8 jumps.

He had the advantage of having instas, whereas I had to fly 15km to every gate. He was able to keep up with me very well until we reached a system that had 4 gates, where I warped out of sight before he came through after me. He was forced to take a 1 in 3 chance to catch me and luckily he chose the wrong gate.

Another 14 jumps later and I found myself at the edge of ASCN space. I felt safe now that I was almost there. After all, they were erecting a golden statue of me in the town square, and I was "blue" to everyone whom I would encounter. (well such was the state of affairs until INNUMINATE NOOTMARE returned from his photo-shoot for Time Magazine and exposed me.)

There was another pilot in the system and it was nice to finally be amongst friends. It was so nice, in fact, that I was pleased to sit back and watch this happen:

I let out a shriek of terror as I realised I had approximately 20 seconds to get out of this situation before I was podded and sent 22 jumps back to curse.....

(to be continued...)


Anonymous Hunter C8 said...

Gah what's with the cliffhangers, they keep on leaving me wanting to read more! :/ I want to see another post real quick before my anxiety overwhelms me.

7:41 pm  
Anonymous Sacha Petrova said...

Jerks. Look me up if you are in the Geminate region. I won't shoot at you. :p

11:33 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is too funny...
sorry, AXE member here, and the reason people are quiet is that in these regions there are usually alliance bans on local chat, it just starts flamewars and people end up on and in the EO forums..
anyway, just laughing and thinking of my first excursion into 0.0 and how I was sent back to my cloning station very quickly
good luck

7:08 am  
Anonymous Che Kdoud said...

It ought to be noted that a significant portion of the ISK that was thrust into your wallet so quickly when you initially entered ASCN space was donated by a large group of ArsC corporation members in the amount of 1337 ISKs each.

We, the LEET geeks of Eve salute you! :)

Keep up the good work!

- Che Kdoud

5:29 pm  

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