Tuesday, August 15, 2006

The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 024 - Covert Surveillance

Covert Surveillance

As I observed the wombats, dingbats, wallabes, possums and koalas from the reinforced perspex window of my shuttle, a chat box scarily appeared on my screen. I tentatively accepted it and promptly discovered that I had been contacted by none other than the southern branch of the mob:

I wondered if the corrupt bible bashers from the north had sent a carrier pigeon down here to warn their associates of my arrival. I cautiously greeted this mystery "recruiter and enforcer" and was threateningly informed of the following:

I wondered if this was the only service that the Chicago Mobsters provided to their clients. Surely it would be financially difficult to sustain a living purely through rendering their enemies unable to walk for a few months. A couple of seconds later, my questions were fully answered when it was explained that their organisation had a supplemental method of deriving extra income:

After this somewhat disturbing introduction to the organisation, I engaged in a very pleasant discussion about life in the Great Wildlands. Apparently, I was in the middle of yet another war-zone and was informed that many a shocking podding would probably be in my near future, should I choose to stay....

Some minutes later, the conversation turned to the subject of jump-clones. It was explained to me that in order to use my Infomorph Psychology skill it would be necessary to have a standing of 8.0 with the station where I wanted to install my dashing doppelganger.

I enquired as to what would happen if, after installing the clone at a player owned station, the standing was then ruthlessly taken away from me:

This was good news indeed. Now all I needed to do was to find someone in 0.0 who was wealthy and powerful, who owned a station, and would be prepared to set a standing of 8.0 with INNOMINATE NEUTRALITY, without thinking that everyone in EVE is an alt spy.

In my journeys so far, I had witnessed countless examples of paranoia from members of organisations terrified at the idea that their competitors and enemies could be spying on them.

I considered this whole concept to be ridiculous and grabbed a drink of mineral water from the nearest billabong. It's one thing to be sensible and cautious, but to continually be terrified that everyone you meet is an alt spy is just downright silly.

I resolved that I would not succumb to this unjustified stupidity. To regain my focus on sensible issues, I began a conversation with another pilot in the system and upon asking him what he does for a living, he informed me that he was an alt spy.......

Several minutes later he was pleased to reveal that his alt spying had been extremely successful and that:

Being safely docked at the time, I was unsure of just how many innocent locals had been brutally slaughtered in this surprise attack. I was experiencing the harsh realities of war once more, not so long after having witnessed the RAZOR battle from the sidelines.

Unlike my previous war, this time I had advance knowledge of what was happening, courtesy of a surprisingly talkative spy...

He informed me that he could not tell me who he was spying on, or to whom he was answerable. This was fine by me, seeing as I had not the slightest clue who any of the people around here were anyway. Besides, I was busy searching for the immortal truth.

I wondered if I would also end up being accidentally killed in this conflict too, as I had been in the north.

I did the sensible thing and undocked so that I could find out...

(to be continued......)


Anonymous Maddzy said...

lol you could have at least censored the spy's name and pic, but I guess its not your problem :D

1:44 am  

Hi Maddzy. He told me that all his enemies know who he is, which made it all the more funny.......

2:56 am  
Anonymous Sonic Slayer said...

Oh man, I love this. Roflmfao!

3:05 am  
Anonymous Hoozin said...

Mr. NIGHTMARE person. I do hereby declare that your balls are likely the size of


I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts.

6:12 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shanara Trisam (TOG) (ASCN): I have only read this one post and can already tell you're an English major. No one else in a mmorpg has grammar that good! Good luck! I look forward to reading it all!

7:30 am  
Anonymous Kendar said...

I start my days at work with reading rl news and your storys and im impressed to say the least!

We miss you up in the north ;)

7:52 am  
Anonymous William Romeo said...

great read! Hope to see you in 0-o!

8:12 am  
Blogger Mirasta said...

Love the read and yes we know who all the alt spys are, thats why any one in 0.0 kills all neutrals :P

IN, you make me larf at work keep em comming and apprently you mad me famous :S

[EELS] -V-

8:36 am  
Blogger Drantis said...

Innominate...Get trained up to be a covert ops pilot. This way you can do and see pretty much what you want without the problem of gett shot :)

Keep up this very entertaining blog mate.

1:21 pm  
Anonymous Helplessandlost said...

Your getting awfully close to the area's I'm currently in. For what it's worth I have you set to positive personally so I won't shoot you.

4:24 pm  
Anonymous Dwindlehop said...

Try heading to the complex in WO-GC0, especially right after downtime. You can say hello to Veritas Immortalis' Russian friends.

12:03 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"...grabbed a drink of mineral water from the nearest billabong..."

That one totally floored me. ROFL.

And the last sentence too. XD

6:29 pm  

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