Thursday, August 10, 2006

The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 020 - The Great Library Of Alexandria

The Great Library Of Alexandria

I was impressed with the military efficiency of the sender of this mysterious message. One of the soldiers had very kindly taken the time to prepare a summary of the background of this conflict for me and to evemail it, so that I could learn the thrilling history as I watched the brutal conflict from the sidelines.



Unfortunately, due to my own clumsiness, I was no longer at the sidelines and had died another agonising death. I wondered if Pope Maltrox and the crooked cross-bearers in the Arrow Project had decided on a stronger approach and had concluded that I should experience historical Christian events first hand:


Via a never-ending cycle of death and resurrection......


After all, it would explain the ever-increasing number of frozen corpses I was inadvertantly littering the galaxy with.

I wondered if some day in the far future an intrepid adventurer would discover my "turin shroud" in the deep dark recesses of 0.0 and would present it to one of Pope Maltrox's descendants, thereby causing an almighty historical controversy.

From what I could gather from the acronym-heavy letter that the mystery solider had sent me, France had declared war on Emilio's back-catalogue of "classic comedy". I was extremely excited by this unusual revelation. Suddenly the strong smell of garlic and onions that had been permeating the venal region for the past few days made sense to me.

I could see this situation deteriorating rapidly and was very glad that I was (for the third time) leaving this region. My home in the North had become a desperate war-zone and I had now become more convinced than ever that heading down-under was a prudent course of action.

I had tried twice to go south and was, yet again, back where I started once more. I resolved not to accept temporary defeat and I bravely undocked, this time setting a different course entirely.

Instead of heading South-West, in order to then go South-East, I would cunningly venture South-East, in order to then go South-West. In theory I would end up at the same place....

Ironically, twenty jumps later I entered the very first system in 0.0 that I had stopped at, right back at the beginning of my brave adventure. I had come full-circle and was back in FDZ4-A.

Naturally I was attacked as I approached the station with the only medical bay in the area. However, this time I did not find myself suddenly re-spanwing in Venal again and I managed to dextrously evade my assailant.

I quickly moved my clone back to this station and celebrated my progress in my southbound journey. It was a strange time for quiet reflection.

I felt spurred on by my progress and was very much looking forward to learning more about the south and the exciting people who lived there. However, I had also just witnessed my first war and I was still visibly shaken by the carnage and bloodshed.

I stayed in FDZ4-A for an hour or so and spent some time talking with the residents, who were an extremely shifty looking bunch of misfits, a lot of whom had bounties on them and were members of the "Celtic Anarchy".

A quick search on Google revealed that they were manufacturers of anti-capitalist badges. I was sure that this information would prove to be invaluable later on.....

One of them informed me that just ten teasing jumps to the south a 0.3 station was stocked with skill-books. Some time later I finally broke into empire space for the first time since I had begun my journey:



I docked in Tasti and was overjoyed to discover that the station was indeed stocked with a wondrous variety of instructional books for me to absorb.

I immediately went on an unbridled spending spree:



As I began to read the material, I could feel Forrest Gump rapidly evolving into Tom Hanks.....


(to be continued......)

13 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha what a great morning read. Keep it up!

6:34 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Come and 'avva look come and 'avva look.

Getcher badges here, come an' get 'em, 4 isk each or 3 for 10.

8:26 pm  
Anonymous Zaphod Jones said...

WTS anti-capitalist badges, no reasonable offer declined

10:25 pm  
Anonymous Wizzel Cogcarrier Wizzleton IV said...

Nice! Original idea, entertaining stories, and great writing. Permalinked ;)

10:59 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Careful you don't lose your ship with all those books in it! Train as many as you can right now for only a few seconds -- then you can go back to them later with no danger of losing them.

1:12 pm  
Anonymous Ti Nsi said...

Order now to avoid dissapointment over the Christmas period 8-o

6:39 pm  
Anonymous Firemonk said...

Nice read, shame i gave up my badge making days a month ago...

6:53 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All those 'educational' books... riiight. I'm sure you read them for the 'acticles'.

'Anchoring'... we all know that's a euphimism for bondage.

'Controlled Bursts' ... too easy.

'Rapid Fire' - Take your time, stud.

'Small Projectile' - They have pills for that now.

'Empathy' - Be the ultimate chick magnet.

'Leadership' - Not into the submissive games, huh?

'Trade' - Woah! You better make sure she's into swapping before you get too invested in this skill.

8:41 pm  
Blogger INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE said...

LOL, please excuse the perv who has posted above........

9:41 pm  
Anonymous dsi1 said...

Arg when is the next one coming out I'm going crazy!!!

2:32 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

badges? we don't need no stinking badges!

4:54 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is excellent writing, and I'm jealous of your idea, your talent, and all the fun you are having while I mine pyroxeres. Keep up the great work

1:05 am  
Blogger Timo Komi said...

Lol!

10:05 am  

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