Thursday, September 28, 2006

The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 060 - Titanic (Part 1)

Titanic (Part 1)

It is said that in the average person's life, there are perhaps only two or three key moments that truly stand out as being the most memorable experiences that we cherish.

The events that I am about to describe, represent my first such moment in the world of EVE...

I had been informed that my friends in ASCN had been working on a project to recreate a famous ocean liner that sank to the bottom of the sea, after being brutally podded by an iceberg in 1912.

Naturally, I was ecstatically overjoyed at this magnificent revelation, and I decided to use my jump clone to head down to AZN-D2 for some nautical sightseeing.

Unfortunately, this happened:

Not only had I previously been tardy for the war in 9UY, but I had now also arrived fashionably late for this star-studded public appearance by the infamous Kate Winslet.

Quelle Horreur!

Instead of seeing Kate, I now had to make do with a kinky woman dressed in a metallic rubber suit, who decided to publically make fun of me, and to mercilessly tease me, about my heartbreak at having missed the eagerly awaited ship-launch.

On top of all that, and for some inexplicably hostile reason, she decided to stamp on my little n00b heart using the most offensive horrid blue text:

I was absolutely distraught by this vicious attack against me. There was a limit to the amount of vile abuse that a pilot could take in this game, and her derogatory comment had clearly gone beyond the realms of "smacktalking".

I had no choice but to immediately file a petition against the woman for griefing...

However, just as I was about to hit "send", and to my utter astonishment and disbelief, I was informed that "CYVOK", the head of ASCN, who was also the pilot of their titanic vessel, had heard of my arrival and was going to come back for me!

I could not believe what I was hearing:

I tried to ignore the blue-texted woman who was asking idiotic questions in Local, and a great sense of awe and wonder overcame me, as I witnessed what must have been the single-most astonishing moment in my short life in EVE.

The heavens suddenly snapped open, and a ship of such spectacular and epic proportions swooned into the system, causing me to instantly fall to my knees in admiration.

When I had stepped out of Empire space, at the beginning of my adventure, with that little mining laser, I never, in my dreams, could have imagined standing here today, looking at an almighty mushroom:

Click To View Image

As I tilted my camera with my shaking hands, and zoomed in for a close up of the top, I couldn't help but think that this was a giant intergalactic vacuum cleaner, and someone had forgotten to plug in the hose:

Click To View Image

Having finally seen this wonder with my very own eyes, I now truly understood why this incredible ship had won an astonishing 11 academy awards:

Click To View Image

I felt like I had almost touched an angel.

I was just a man in a shuttle, but somehow, through the faith and belief in a conviction that great things can be achieved by those who are just willing to try, I had now gone down in history as having been given my own personal show, at the launch of the first ever Titan in EVE...

I felt truly honoured by this kind act.

Incredibly, this story does not end here, because 5 hours later I was set to be part of an even more amazing event...

(to be continued...)


Anonymous selene fenestre said...

A Titan AND Eris in one day...

Lucky, lucky man.

1:58 am  

I haven't yet decided which sighting was better.....

3:15 am  
Anonymous Ket Halpak said...

My GOD, i think i need new pants after seeing that! Makes me proud to be apart of ASCN

3:18 am  
Blogger Dan Nugent said...

Oh man, I know everyone says it looks kinda like a penis... but I never noticed how the opening on the front looks like a urethra.


4:10 am  
Anonymous ASCeNdent citizen. said...

Yes, but it's OUR space schlong :D :D :D

5:06 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Makes me wanna shoot ASCN people now..


7:34 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

>>>looks kinda like a penis>>>

I think Inno would more accurately associate it with a butt plug of Backdoor Bandit vintage.

Have fun


8:13 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and it comes with a bottle opener, coool!

best regards,

9:50 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perhaps you can get ASCN to lead a gang of your shareholders into ASCN space to see it :)

5:52 pm  
Anonymous Rilder said...

Wow A beautifull ship

6:37 pm  
Anonymous Major Stormer said...

BOB has declared war on ASCN. me wonders if ASCN will use that Titan in combat

6:55 pm  
Anonymous Jason said...

Man, I gotta wonder what the insurance on that thing costs.

7:26 pm  
Anonymous Hydraxian said...


Grr i should have risked being podded and clone jumped back to AZN :(

7:34 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DAMN......thats all I gotta say.....ok.. DAMN (again)

8:05 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DAMN......thats all I gotta say.....ok.. DAMN (again)

8:06 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow absolutly crazy. Great shots and keep it coming

9:47 pm  

Latest list of shareholders:

I am now essentially a triple-billionaire. I am still attached to the n00b station idea, although other suggestions on how to use this money will be very welcome.

Titanic Part 2 will be up in the next couple of hours.

9:49 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to say that Eris' comments were more intelligent than yours.

9:58 pm  

Your statement bears much truth.

Hers defied the laws of science, and mine defied the laws of decorum.

10:37 pm  
Anonymous Sapce Casino said...

Hmmm how about a Space Casino... :o)

Meh stick with the noob station idea imo... :o)

11:46 pm  
Blogger Allatar Daimas said...

BoB declared war on ASCN? Bout to get really messy around the south I suspect.

12:06 am  
Anonymous Major Stormer said...

The south? dude ALL OF EVE is about to get really messy

1:03 am  

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