Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 069 - Hostile Takeover

Hostile Takeover

Upon logging back in, I stared goggle-eyed at the screen as the realisation dawned on me that the station I was docked at no longer belonged to the Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate.

The Mercenary Coalition banner was proudly flying and I wondered just who it was who had hired them to besiege The Distillery in a bombardment of violent station-stealing shock.

I quickly discovered the answer to my question

It would appear that my fearless rock excavator friends had been hired by a group called "Firmus Ixion" and had fought alongside them to conquer The Distillery.

I was relieved that they had not damaged the strip club:

Being more astonished by this than a woman who was in a jewellers shop and who, after having been offered a choice between three different types of necklace, had opted for pearl, I had no choice but to immediately interrogate the invaders:

Upon further questioning and discussion with the 110 people in Local (much to the annoyance of their commanders who wanted silence and did not get it) I then learned that FIX were friends with the Steven Spielberg television mini series "Band-Of-Brothers" and were vaguely neutral towards ASCN.

I began to wonder if this development had any connection with the war that was taking place in the deep south between BOB and ASCN, and as I adjusted my tinfoil hat to get a better view, I wondered which seemingly unconnected alliance on the map would get blown up next...

At the beginning of my adventure I did not have the faintest clue, nor the slightest interest in EVE politics, but I now found myself becoming absolutely enthralled and intrigued by the layers of history that had been blood-stainingly piled upon each other via sweat-filled years of conflict, strife, friendship, treachery, upheaval and bitter sorrow.

With the subject of death now sadly on my mind, I continued in my conversation with members of FIX, and as they were talking I recalled that when I had been flying between Maelstrom Prime and the Distillery, I had been viciously and skin-slicingly attacked by a dirty duo of dastardly devil-worshippers:

The "Imperial Republic Of The North" had bitterly destroyed my humble ship for no reason, had brutally podded me and had then shockingly teased me after bumping into me again outside the distillery.

When it happened I had informed Maelstrom of the outrage:

I now informed FIX of the harrowing incident too:

I can honestly say that it was the first time I had ever been referred to as an item of anal headgear...

What was it, that caused this mixture of joy and pain to sweep the continuum, like a monolithic intergalactic broom of contradiction?

During my short time in this world, I had encountered such great, wonderful, truly magnificent souls, who were more than willing to go beyond the call of duty to help, and to further the happiness of those around them.

However, I had also encountered a multitude of lecherous low-down wretched mutant gutter-residing bloodsuckers of the worst possible breeding, who would not know the word "courtesy" even if their family name was "Assy" and their parents, via some contrived co-incidence had named them all "Curt".

Perhaps, to appreciate joy one must first experience sadness, for something can only be truly measured in relation to its opposite.

I needed to clear my mind and to escape from this ever-escalating conflict, so I decided to do something fun and crazy. I excitedly opened my map, and for no reason whatsoever, I crazily plotted a random 100-jump course to somewhere I had never been before...

Where would I land next?...

(to be continued...)


Anonymous Ket Halpak said...

LOL, why do people think that names like R3SID3NT 3V1L look good? Honestly its childish and pathetic.

4:52 am  

I was honoured to be called an asshat, now I just have to work out what it is.....

5:49 am  
Anonymous Aadi Mathais said...

Urban Dictionary defines it as:

"One who has their head up their ass. Thus wearing their ass as a hat. Asshat"

6:24 am  

Well considering I didn't know what it was, he was quite correct to call me one.......


7:32 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


why don't you head west a little and report on the battle between the coalition and -RED-. Has been on going now for a long time.

Would be some interesting tales to uncover over there.

8:21 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol sorry east :P

8:23 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

heh, yeah, you go down there and confirm the awesome "logoffski methods" of the Red Alliance....
I believe it's acctually not a tactic but a discovery of a new medium in wich you may travel in a semi paralell universe thus making Interdictorbubbles and warpjammers worthless. The RA are amazing in the way they push the edge forward instead of balancing on it.
Some poeple say it is unfair they know and don't share this amazing discovery!
Some claim they must be taunted and flogged for acctually using such an evil tool. Religious cults even claim it is a sin to "abuse" this medium as it is likely a mistake by "The Mighty Creators".
We all pray though, that this rift in the fabric of time an matter will be sealed.

9:35 am  
Anonymous Helplessandlost said...

I kept checking back to your blog to see what you had to say about our little meeting...

Still wished you would have undocked but /me shrugs...

Only thing I can truly say I'm surprised about is you didn't find some way to use my in game name to your advantage.

1:37 pm  
Anonymous Jet Collins said...

Nightmare if wars and Battles keep following you around people will start to not let you into thier space. Although it does make for a very interesting blog some people might be getting enough information from it to make there attacks ;). Keep the adventure going. Hopfully you don't start to run into more road blocks.

PS as for starting the Noob station in 0.0. I'm sure it can be done. Look at the success of your stocks. Just need to get some freinds to form anouther corp or 2 which can house all the members of the aliance to do the job at hand, while you keep your one man corp who will be CEO of the nutral Aliance Noobs in 0.0.

8:36 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hehe post "69" heehee... sorry.

2:57 am  
Anonymous N Solarz said...

INNOMINATE, check again, G7 and The Distillery have been taken back by the IAC (for the time bieng) MC+FIX have LEFT the JZV constelation.

3:10 am  
Anonymous Andrew Gunn said...

Innom, next time we play a game of iSketch, we'll be inviting you again. Until then, fly safe. =)

5:51 am  

Hi Andrew, I'm still suffering withdrawal symptoms from that game.

It was immense fun.

10:58 pm  

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