The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 066 - A Tale Of Two Cities (Part 1)

A Tale Of Two Cities (Part 1)


- It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of alcoholism...


After having been terrified by a ravaging troupe of carebear killers, I decided that it was time to boogie unrestrictedly and to have some wholesome and sinful fun.

As I studiously studied my map, I recalled that when I was at the love shack for the launch of the Titan, I had previously met a lunatic who went by the name of "Jim Lovell", who was one of the big cheeses of an alliance called the "Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate".

Jim had invited me to his home in the Catch region for a drink, and had informed me that his station was set to joyously dispense a bottle of wine to everyone who docked.


I decided to take him up on his wonderful invitation:




After docking and moving my clone to their headquarters, which were appropriately named "The Distillery", it became starkly apparent that the name of this group was not a joke, and that in their frequent drunken binges they often destroyed their own ships, inspired by the worst alcoholic of all:


Their leader...




Despite being peeved by the fact that the station had not dispensed a bottle of wine to me yet, I tried not to laugh at hearing this sorrowful tale of the loss of a 1 billion isk ship that blew up on an asteroid, and I decided that I would try to help these poor pilots along the road to recovery by steering the conversation away from alcohol.


My plan did not go very well:




Like an open wound, the atmosphere was infectious, and I found myself getting dragged into the merriment. I knew that resistance was highly likely to be futile.

As if to prove the theory that when people are drunk they are generous, a whole assortment of trade boxes appeared on my screen and I was showered with a bizarre collection of inappropriate gifts:

CLICK TO VIEW IMAGE

A short time later, and as the drinks freely flowed around the bar, drunken pilots began to challenge each other to insane duels, and I rapidly found myself standing in the middle of an absolutely hilarious and truly bizarre fight, of the likes I had never seen in my entire adventure:

CLICK TO VIEW IMAGE

I continued to stare goggle-eyed at this lunacy that was taking place outside the station, as ships swooned and swayed under the feeble control of pilots who were in a daze and stupor, with wildly glazed-over eyes, and I found myself thoroughly enjoying it!

These were by far one of the most fun groups of players I had ever encountered, and after another few drinks I began to wonder if it was myself or them who had lost the plot:



As I staggered around in my pod, I decided to inject a modicum of decorum into the situation and took the opportunity to enquire as to what it was that their alliance actually did in the game.


I was relieved to get a sensible answer:




Having now been given a great understanding of the underlying mechanics of how they operated, I decided that if I couldn't beat them, then I may as well have fun joining them.


I ended up spending the rest of the night getting absolutely plastered.


Some time later, and in the early hours of the morning, I staggered to my feet, to see a very sexy looking ship hovering nearby:

CLICK TO VIEW IMAGE

I passed out once again, and a few hours later I found myself being awoken by several "smashed" pilots who informed me that they loved me, and who then invited me to join an intoxicated group of 12 frigates, in order to drunkenly raid an unsuspecting alliance in a nearby city...


Unfortunately, I said yes...


(to be continued...)