Saturday, October 14, 2006

The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 071 - Acronyms FTW

Acronyms FTW

I arrived at the wonderful citadel of Fountain, wondering what awe-inspiring and fantastical adventures awaited me at my exciting new home.

Shortly after arriving, I was introduced to the politics of the area by a kind and helpful soul named Triderious. He was a plain-speaking and simple kind of pilot from the "Xelas" alliance, who kindly went out of his way to make me feel very much at home:

To say that I was annoyed would be more of an understatement than attempting to say something whilst playing the Hawaiian game "Limbo". For no reason whatsoever, this abominable killer had callously sat at the gate, and had deliberately let me fly close to him, several seconds after I had warped in, so that he could then open fire on me and attempt to murder me at close quarters.

As I escaped, I asked him exactly why he had done this:

I was clearly speaking with a mindless lackey who was using the classic defence of hiding behind meaningless acronyms. Like a murderous postman, he had thrown letters at me after trying to shoot me dead, and at that moment I felt like grabbing a selection of vowels and consonants, and shoving them so far up his backside that his intestines would become Alphabetti Spaghetti...

Just what exactly was this mysterious NBSI that so many cowards used as an excuse to murder the weak?

No Brains, Stupid Ignorance?

No Balls, Slaughters Innocents?

Nasty Belligerence, Stunted Intelligence?

Maybe my stalker was just an unquestioning pilot doing his job, and if I met him socially I would probably discover he is a nice guy, but after 100-jumps it is not exactly the kind of welcome anyone would want to receive.

I fired off an irate evemail to the woman I once had an affair with:

Triderious' claim that this was Xelas space was quite simply false.

I was in a system that contained two NPC stations which had been placed there by the game designers for the use of all players. Informing me that I was in claimed territory was a plain lie. Systems with NPC stations are in NPC sovereignty areas and cannot be claimed by anyone.

He did not reply.

I had only escaped because I already had my mouse hovering over "warp to 100km" from a random asteroid belt that I had preselected as I flew towards him, and was able to instantly click it the second I saw him start targetting me.

If I had been a less-experienced n00b, out for fun and adventure with my basic mining laser, I would have been blown to smithereens.

However, my new home turned out not to be all doom and gloom, because shortly after the failed assassination, I had the pleasure of meeting another Xelas pilot, who turned out to be extremely intelligent and friendly:

Taji and I spent around an hour chatting about the wonderful world of EVE, and she informed me that Xelas operates as a "buffer zone" for BOB, and includes several industrial corporations that provide ships, mods and equipment to fuel their crushing war machine.

We began to discuss my dream of a n00b nursery:

This was an incredible idea, and I was already filling up with immense excitement and wonder at the thought of the possibilities that could be opened up to me, if I could just find a way to breach the inner sanctum of the Gods.

It was decided.

When I finished here in Fountain, I would head to the unreachable region on the map called "Jove" Space, where the Viking Gods of EVE resided, and I would boldly try to go where no pilot had been before:

To seek an audience with the creators.

(to be continued...)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good lick in Jove space. I hear they operate NBSIABA* in their space.

*NBSIABA = Not Blue Shoot It And Ban Account

12:54 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn you, misspellings, damn you to Jove space!

12:54 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fountain is full of low life scum assholes.

4:53 pm  
Anonymous Faraelle Brightman said...

As a relative noob venturing into the dangerous parts of Placid (ignore my join date, I've been playing for less than two months), I prefer a NBRA policy. "Not blue, run away."

(Doubbly true in a Navitas with only mining lasers. But I've managed not to get it blown up yet, unlike the Tristan I actualy outfit for combat, so something's working! Soon I'll have enough ISK to insure the new Vexor I don't dare take out of the hangar yet...)

5:39 pm  
Anonymous Faraelle said...

Also, I suppose that "owning" NPC space is more like bandits "owning" a stretch of road or the mob "owning" a section of town. They don't legaly own it but they have the resources and firepower to "p0wn" anyone who disagrees with them and in game terms, CONCORD/the empires can't/won't beat them down (Can't if you believe the government is generaly benevolent but incompitent or undergunned, won't if you like conspiricy theories, there's not an "official" explaination in the game fiction for most of these hotspots.)

5:48 pm  
Blogger AdmiralNaismith said...

lol...if you actually reach the brave new world of jove space (without devs stepping in), all of eve would bow down. Or at least mercilessly hunt you down time after time until you gave up the route info. =)

6:48 pm  

Anon, I hope I do receive a good lick in Jove space.

Faraelle, running away is also an excellent policy, and is one which I frequently adopt...

Admiral, I will do my best to find the gate to Valhalla...

8:30 pm  
Blogger Allatar Daimas said...

I tried to warn you about fountain, but all I get is "Allatar whats with all the negativity"

11:41 pm  
Blogger Allatar Daimas said...

Innom! I just had a startling revelation! You could simply sell your corpses on escrow to help finance your outpost!

2:35 am  
Blogger -Alekseyev Karrde said...

NBSI is one of the more vapid and cowardly ideas i've heard of in terms of engagement strategies.

I'm glad someone else is taking a stand against it.

7:54 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Be sure to bring some pieces of their ambassador back to the Jove. His fullerne shards and pieces of his liver may still be found on the market for the right price.

The ambassador himself - err, his latest clone - might appreciate such a gift.

/me sings
"Gonna make you (w)ho(l)e again !"

Have fun

Ian Novarider

9:18 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If he makes it to Jove space and able to get into it...I will LOL so hard can you see the GM's faces and CCP staff when he comes to there part of the world....go for it nightmare....never know u might be in when Kali comes around....and you good be right in the top corner.... the "nightmare region" Where 1000's of noobs living in 0.0 space all living in the "nightmare outpost"


3:57 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice to see you've turned into a whiner like the other 3/4 of the EVE population.

10:26 pm  

There is a marked difference between whining and sarcastic joking fury.

Look behind the words to discern the meaning and the intent, and you will find that they are positive.

1:43 am  
Anonymous Rixaeton said...

So NBSI means "Not Blue, Shoot Indiscriminately"?

As for whinging - that is a usual argument you get from them until they come up against a bigger gun, then the shoe is on the other foot... or something

Anyway, I hope that you have some success on your Jovian mission.

2:02 am  
Blogger DukeHeart said...

Actually I know two pilots who have made it into Jove space.

Contact Dubya if you want the intell Nommie.

12:56 pm  
Anonymous Jet Collins said...

Entering Jove space..

The only way I heard of it being done was a long time ago you use to be able to set up a clone in a Jove station. So you died and than where reborn in a jove station. So people got there and there was nothing there. and they could not die so they had to petition to get back to empire o.O.

As for resent attempts I know of none. HOwever I wonder if anyone has ever tried going to a new system with a a jump gate. EI getting the fastest ship they have putting the MWD on and heading in one dirrection for days...

*Jet wonders what would happen. Unfortuantly I do not have days to test this :).

5:44 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL...Xelas claims Fountain. Xelas pays to live in Fountain. They are not an alliance capable of holding a region. BoB claims Fountain and any time some beats Xelas within an inch of their lives, BoB comes running to save them.

11:31 pm  
Anonymous Flinx Evenstar said...

Ahh yes NBSI

You have to love it ;)

I live by it these days, but it still gets me in trouble when there are so many "Blue" corps that have not yet been set standings...

...but we do always compensate in those unlikley events

5:32 am  
Anonymous Vrognem said...

Just started pvp'ing last night with a corp mate after being a carebear for most of my eve-life. Been up against some nasty stuff in a very cheaply fitted cruiser and still ain't been killed thanks to the magical newbtastic wcs nerfmodule(s) :x . learning quickly about actually putting a nos on the ship, and that drones hurt alot sometimes, among other tactics.

Also that the occasional high sec carebear pestering is rather funny too... 'pop goes the retriever/etc' is a rather amusing song, along with the hatemail afterwards.

I've quickly adapted a 'N(B/P)SI' and yes it's nasty but i'd rather get that first salvo off and possibly the upper hand for myself and my corp mate (who warps slower) than wait for a cloud of wasp2's and some nasty nos and turret/missile action.

Eat or be eaten.. rule of the jungle. (NBSI) And the jungle I have found to mean 0.4 and under...

And to top it all off.. mission running and mining seems very boring to me now, just about 10 days off a covetor too.. how sad! Will probably need it when I get my butt kicked alot though, as it will happen.

1:10 pm  

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