The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 071 - Acronyms FTW
I arrived at the wonderful citadel of Fountain, wondering what awe-inspiring and fantastical adventures awaited me at my exciting new home.
Shortly after arriving, I was introduced to the politics of the area by a kind and helpful soul named Triderious. He was a plain-speaking and simple kind of pilot from the "Xelas" alliance, who kindly went out of his way to make me feel very much at home:
To say that I was annoyed would be more of an understatement than attempting to say something whilst playing the Hawaiian game "Limbo". For no reason whatsoever, this abominable killer had callously sat at the gate, and had deliberately let me fly close to him, several seconds after I had warped in, so that he could then open fire on me and attempt to murder me at close quarters.
As I escaped, I asked him exactly why he had done this:
I was clearly speaking with a mindless lackey who was using the classic defence of hiding behind meaningless acronyms. Like a murderous postman, he had thrown letters at me after trying to shoot me dead, and at that moment I felt like grabbing a selection of vowels and consonants, and shoving them so far up his backside that his intestines would become Alphabetti Spaghetti...
Just what exactly was this mysterious NBSI that so many cowards used as an excuse to murder the weak?
No Brains, Stupid Ignorance?
No Balls, Slaughters Innocents?
Nasty Belligerence, Stunted Intelligence?
Maybe my stalker was just an unquestioning pilot doing his job, and if I met him socially I would probably discover he is a nice guy, but after 100-jumps it is not exactly the kind of welcome anyone would want to receive.
I fired off an irate evemail to the woman I once had an affair with:
Triderious' claim that this was Xelas space was quite simply false.
I was in a system that contained two NPC stations which had been placed there by the game designers for the use of all players. Informing me that I was in claimed territory was a plain lie. Systems with NPC stations are in NPC sovereignty areas and cannot be claimed by anyone.
He did not reply.
I had only escaped because I already had my mouse hovering over "warp to 100km" from a random asteroid belt that I had preselected as I flew towards him, and was able to instantly click it the second I saw him start targetting me.
If I had been a less-experienced n00b, out for fun and adventure with my basic mining laser, I would have been blown to smithereens.
However, my new home turned out not to be all doom and gloom, because shortly after the failed assassination, I had the pleasure of meeting another Xelas pilot, who turned out to be extremely intelligent and friendly:
Taji and I spent around an hour chatting about the wonderful world of EVE, and she informed me that Xelas operates as a "buffer zone" for BOB, and includes several industrial corporations that provide ships, mods and equipment to fuel their crushing war machine.
We began to discuss my dream of a n00b nursery:
This was an incredible idea, and I was already filling up with immense excitement and wonder at the thought of the possibilities that could be opened up to me, if I could just find a way to breach the inner sanctum of the Gods.
It was decided.
When I finished here in Fountain, I would head to the unreachable region on the map called "Jove" Space, where the Viking Gods of EVE resided, and I would boldly try to go where no pilot had been before:
To seek an audience with the creators.
(to be continued...)