The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 072 - The Horde
I sat in my pod in the Fountain region and joyously watched as morning viciously failed to arrive. Nonetheless, a certain sense of excitement was in the air; well it was until I realised there was no air either...
After slumping into a temporary state of depression at the cold starkness of space, I took a few hits from the Caldari Bong I had locked away in the secret compartment in my pod, and I proceeded to engage in a chilled-out conversation with a Xelas pilot called lilantris:
It would appear that the three main factions in Fountain were "Xelas", "Celestial Apocalypse" and "The Horde". Xelas and The Horde were friends, and they did not like Celestial Apocalypse, whom they considered to be evil pirates.
As I was pondering the wondrous significance of these political revelations, I was surreptitiously interrupted by one of the locals, who decided to inform me that like a man who had taken vegetable oil into the shower instead of shampoo, he was greased up and ready to slip and slide:
I quickly banished this disturbing revelation to the back of my mind, and was promptly invited to "INNO's FOUNTAIN INFO CHANNEL", which had been created by lilantris, as some kind of bizarre informational media outlet.
As the evening progressed, various local residents dropped in and out of the channel to have random conversations with me. I wondered if I should have taken the opportunity to start signing books and charging outrageously for photo opportunities.
Having now had the chance to speak with several different Xelas pilots, I was beginning to conclude that I liked them. To my limited knowledge thus far, they were nice people and I was looking forward to getting to better know them and the other factions in the area.
The conversation turned to my n00bosity, and its potential impact on the constructability of my noble n00b outpost:
Some seconds sooner, after staring at a stunning, suspenseful and sparkling shining show of a shimmering shooting star on the soft and silent serendipitously serene starfields surrounding my spaceship, I studiously struggled to suspend the strong urge to think of words starting with the letter "S".
Perhaps my adventures were turning me more nuts than a woman called Hazel who lived in Brazil and had been drowned in Walnut Creek, rescued by Monkeys, cracked open, had an orchestra performing the Nutcracker Suite at her graveside while informing her that she was a shell of her former self, had been mixed with the DNA of a scottish man called HootsMon MacAdamia, and then re-assembled into a woman who was heroically crowned with the name Queen Nutella Nutshella of the Nutty Republic of Nutland...
Lil then took me to visit Xelas' home system:
It was late at night, there weren't many people around, and not entirely unlike two deaf lovers who were cheating on their spouses, my first full meeting with Xelas turned out to be a very quiet affair...
We pressed on into the night, and some time later we found that we had wandered into the inner sanctum of the mysterious indigenous tribe called The Horde.
Lil quickly warped me to an inconspicuous safespot in their system, from which I could observe this strange species of creature in its natural habitat.
Things quickly began to turn hostile, and one of the residents accused me of being "shocking". I duly checked myself for electrodes, powerful electrical generators, and the ability to summon lightning storms.
I wasn't quite sure what to make of this development, so we heroically fled to the exit gate, only to find that the Horde were waiting there for us, their razor-sharp teeth glistening in the night...
(to be continued...)