Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 013 - Dance With The Devil


I sat in K3JR-J and began to contemplate the complex world of Eve. It seemed to me that there existed a stark duality of opposites, weaving an energetic dance of death and rebirth, as the residents of the universe went about their fleeting lives, in the hope of achieving greatness and grandeur.

I had learned so far that this universe was filled with both kindness and hatred. I knew that in my future travels, I would always wonder whether just around the corner there lurked a shadowy assassin, waiting to mercilessly pounce and destroy me, or whether I would encounter a kind and generous soul, willing to assist me in my journey. In many ways I began to realise that the interior of the Eve universe mirrored the interior of the real life universe. Perhaps they were one and the same.

My mind turned to the maleficient pirate Thaard and I began to ponder whether I could really begin to plan his sorry demise.

To do so would be to commit the ultimate crime: Yarricide.

I could envision many ways in which his downfall could be justified. After all, he had killed members of D2 and Arrow and if I were to wipe him from the face of the map perhaps I could endear myself to them. So did this mean that I was proposing to brutally extinguish him for my own selfish purposes?

Did the lure of the gleaming Mercoxit pull at me, like a supermagnet, or like two C-list celebrities with flagging media exposure are desperately pulled together in a mutually-false declaration of love, to gain more air-time and sell their story to the tabloid newspapers for a few isk?

Was a relentless force upon me, whispering that I was destined to kill for money and docking rights? These were troublesome questions. I opened a can of Quafe and temporarily quenched my thirst for blood.

As soon as I began to sip on my overpriced carbonated refreshment, I noticed that a trio of buxom Gallic beauties had entered the system and docked:

I had not seen many women out here and to suddenly find three French beauties all at once was an overwhelming surprise. Paranoia crept over me and I began to wonder if Emilio had sent a triumvirate seduction posse to woo me with sweet nothings, while at the same time binding my hands, shackling my legs and carting me off to a low budget DVD production factory in the outer reaches of the Branch system, to forevermore paste low definition labels onto cases that were destined to sit on the shelves of many an unsuspecting newsagent for a large number of years yet to come.

A chat request appeared and I was suddenly entered into a conversation with a pilot, who at first glance, appeared to be the ultimate enemy of the Christians....

I noticed that his name "Lou Cypher" was indeed a cypher and that it was a very clever pun, meaning "Lucifer".

Biblical texts had revealed that the devil was a smart being and I could see that this was indeed true. Perhaps he had heard on the grapevine of my fight against the local bible-thumping Jesuit cult and was here to lend his moral support.

I cautiously greeted him:

Lou: "How is your adventure going?"

INNOMINATE: "Very well, thank you."

I tried to compose myself and to not think about the fact that I was in a conversation with the very embodiment of evil itself.

Lou: "Is Thaaard docked?"


What a strange situation I found myself in. Moments ago I was peacefully contemplating the merits of murder and suddenly three beautiful french women had appeared, followed by Satan.

I began to wonder if I was about to be offered a deal......

(to be continued......)


Anonymous Titanx3 said...

I loled. keep it up mate, cant wait for more.

8:42 pm  
Blogger The Sheriff said...


There is no spoon...

my 15 seconds of fame

Lou / Caer

9:34 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The ways of eve are indeed inscrutable

5:49 am  
Anonymous Thyrniros said...

Havent you heard that satan is always accomponied by beautiful, teasing evil women? I'm suprised you knew they were french. Section XII is the old french wing of RA. So you might wanna look around next time you undock incase there might be POS's all over the place.

6:53 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

section XIII is THE secret wing that lou chypher uses to lure his prey, what is sad.. is taht wing sometimes consumes lou himself... so be sure, those ladies are mean angels and their fire migh burn you many times more

8:38 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well this has been a long day.. 96hrs and counting <.<;

12:35 pm  
Anonymous Jinx said...

This has been, by far, the best on-going read I've seen in..well...ever.
Keep it up!

2:15 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"What a strange situation I found myself in. Moments ago I was peacefully contemplating the merits of murder and suddenly three beautiful french women had appeared, followed by Satan."

Funniest thing I've read today. Thanks, and try to stay alive.

7:10 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

amazing man....great work

1:56 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The Gallenteans are originally of French origins, although
any direct similarities have long since vanished. " - Part of the race description for Gallente.

Elduin Almeria is Gallente.
Silenne Otsaku is Amarr. (But has french in her Bio!)
Stseiya2b is also Amarr, as indeed is Stseiya, presumably the original alt!)

So, only one is "French" in-game, but all could be outside!

1:59 pm  

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