Thursday, August 31, 2006

The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 035 - Sing For Your Supper

Sing For Your Supper

After much deliberation, I decided that I would defer my thrilling visit to the EVE gate until I had been able to find a more appropriate route.

I sat down for a while in my pod, and as I was beginning to plan my next exciting move, I was suddenly contacted by a wild-eyed person whom I could only describe as being the most accident prone individual in the entire universe.

I had barely managed to say "nice to meet you" when he decided to inform me of his boundless fame and notoriety:

Well, with an introduction of this magnitude, I was naturally fascinated. Several minutes into the conversation, and after having used my thesaurus, dictionary and pocket anagram solver to decipher his words, I managed to garner a semblance of understanding about Daniel's life in EVE.

It would seem that he was a self-confessed forum addict and someone whom most other people found to be (in his own words) "extremely annoying". As further evidence of this, he suggested that I look at his incredulous employment history:

Indeed it would appear to be utterly true. The list of organisations that he had been booted out of was so very very long that to accurately measure it would require the usage of an astonishingly lengthy unit of measurement.

After reading this 5 googolplex megamile run-down of all the places he had been fired from, I found myself spinning from the sheer dizziness of it all. It was then that he decided to inform me of two truly astounding things:

I was very tempted to ask why he had agreed to sing to people on their Teamspeak in the first place. Presumably one would guess that perhaps it would not be the best of ideas but apparently this did not occur to him........

Nonetheless, he had valiantly sung for his supper and had been subject to a large amount of ridicule as a result. In addition to all this, he had lost around 70 billion isk during his time in the game, and yet here he was still happily playing. I had no choice but to admire his utter stickability.

It was for these reasons that I decided that I liked Daniel.

Unfortunately, it would appear that his 3-year run of bad luck had not yet ended because he then broke the sad news to me of a terribly horrific accident that had transpired not more than just a few hours ago:

I was quite sure that if Daniel Jackson was in the UK, his name would be Frank Spencer.....

After this very enjoyable conversation with someone I couldn't help but simultaneously laugh at and respect, my thoughts were cast back to the bizarre asssortment of pilots I had encountered thus far in my journey.

During my time up in the North I had come across a pilot who was equally insane and was named after the only computer processor in history that was hotter than the core of the sun:

CB had decided to travel 50 jumps in order to come and visit me, purely so that he could say "hi". After daringly traversing the plains of EVE and dodging three gatecamps he had eventually made it to me, said "hi" and then promptly logged out because he had to get up for work the next morning...

After reminiscing, I then began to notice that people were becoming very edgy in Local. For the past few days there had been a heightened number of alerts that vicious vagabonds had been prowling ASCN space, intent on causing mayhem.

I then discovered just exactly who they were:

I had planned to leave soon but I now wondered if things were about to get very very interesting around here...

(to be continued....)


Anonymous Ket Halpak said...

lol, poor daniel jackson. Lookout for the mighty ducks

4:23 am  
Anonymous Mr Ratty said...

OMG id DJ still in game?
i remember he got banned from the help channel for posting the manual when someone asked a question.

it is pretty much the most annoying person in eve, but you cant help but like him for it LOL

7:25 am  
Anonymous Galimiy Portret said...

Well, there have been roumours of preparations of an invasion of ASCN space by a considerable force lead by Against ALL Authorities. But, it seems that it might not happen right now. They need to figure out how to handle the new queue system to their advantage first, lol.

1:08 pm  
Anonymous El'Tar said...

Dude... u're sooo in love with ASCN Space... dont worry, its common.. we all are :D

8:05 pm  

I deny that vigorously...... I was not even slightly charmed by the back massages, capital ships parades, imported bolivian wines, hand picked truffles and extensive sexual favours.

11:20 pm  
Anonymous Sadist said...

Liar! You have succumbed to the physical pleasures and forgotten your spiritual side, Nightmare.

I am your conscience and your sins of hedonism will not go unpunished.

1:25 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is a way to the EVE gate through low sec, but it is VERY long. You have to go up through Fountain to Cloud Ring, then from Cloud Ring to Syndicate, then from Syndicate through Solitude to Aridia, and then from Aridia to Genesis. That will bypass that one high sec system in Aridia which I believe is your problem. Of course you have to force your autopilot to go that way by adding waypoints along the route you want to travel. It's probably a REALLY long trip.

1:33 am  
Anonymous Frac Tal said...

If you make it to where it all began be sure to take a can and leave your mark, for the cans are a ickle bit expensive at the stations nearby.

I also hear that there is a University near the Syndicate region, a Corp that is known by the name of Agony, would Innominate dare to take the course????

1:52 am  
Anonymous Diicc Tater said...

If you set the autopilot to 'Least safe' instead of 'Shortest' you may not need to plot the course manually to get the rout to eve-gate.

11:48 pm  
Blogger Timo Komi said...


12:32 pm  

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