Monday, September 18, 2006

The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 049 - A Dream Come True

A Dream Come True

I sat alone in the Mercenary Coalition headquarters and began to ponder over the crazy events that this strange and unusual universe had thrown at me during the past three days.

For some inexplicable reason I had suddenly become a wealthy CEO and I had immediately felt the overwhelming urge to squeeze hard on an executive stress toy.

My corporation's office had been created at an educational establishment in 0.3 security space when I was heading south, and I recalled that it had mirrored a vulgar inner city school, filled with all kinds of ruthless and abusive young pilots.

Nonetheless, I decided that I would soon move my medical clone there for a few days, so that I could take a look at the base of my new corporate empire.

I wasn't really too concerned that Heild was filled with dark and evil bone-crunching demon pilots intent on causing mayhem and misery, because I was now in a financial position to hire a team of hardened geologist mercenaries to swat them like the flies they were.

After thinking the above, I had felt slightly guilty, and I began to wonder if this abusive thought-process was a result of my new found riches. I sincerely hoped not, and quickly turned my thoughts to fluffy bunny rabbits and cute little kittens.

During the course of my journey, many pilots had informed me that low security space is considered to be more dangerous than 0.0. Staying in Heild for a few days and exploring the surrounding systems would serve as a useful way to put this theory to the test.

I had been putting off looking at my wallet and evemail, both of which had been constantly flashing, because I had been truly scared to see just how rich I now was.

Eventually, I managed to muster the courage to peek, and my jaw hit the floor faster than the customers caught up in a bank-raid when I saw that the shares were still being snapped up faster than a man trapped in the jaws of a crocodile:

This was truly a dream come true and I almost burst into tears at the thought of this most monumental of achievements. I tried to calm my nerves and to figure out what exactly this mysterious force was that I had been able to harness to attract such staggering wealth so quickly.

From a clueless nobody n00b who had stepped into the world with only a shuttle and a basic miner, I had been chased and shot at all over the universe and now incredibly found myself to be officially a billionaire with friends in high places and a network of people who wanted to help and support me in my adventures.

I felt extremely humbled and was very grateful for the astonishing level of backing that people had given to my microscopically miniscule little corporation.

It was certainly true to say that the more I played of EVE, the more I had come to love it. I had felt that wondrous mixture of bitterness and disappointment, combined with joy and happiness, that had blended every facet of this wild and crazy universe into a dynamic and rich experience that left me with a great sense of achievement, but yearning to do even more.

Several pilots had begun to send me evemails, filled with suggestions on how to invest my new-found riches.

One particular idea was very appealing:

I wondered just how much it would cost to do this. I liked the idea of being the forefather of a legion of 0.0 n00bs, free to live in luxury and wanton abandon in the illustrious fields of that fabled ore mercoxit. I vowed to myself that I would further explore this excellent suggestion.

I noticed I had also unexpectedly been contacted by my jezebel of an ex-girlfriend, who had smelled my cash and suddenly decided to declare that she wanted me back:

I knew she was only after my money but I missed her...

(to be continued...)



The official sales thread on the EVE Online forums is located here:


Over 1100 shares have sold now and the IPO will remain open until I run out of hot drinks.

6:45 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i wouldnt take here back, shes a golddigger... she aint f**king with no broke noobers...

7:49 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I also want space chickses to lub me. :(

Btw, that outpost idea sounds pretty neat, it'd be very difficult though, and require much more money than the 1.1b you've gathered so far. But if you can get an alliance to protect and deploy it for you for a part of the profit you might very well be able to deploy it.

I'll sleep with you for your greens Innomy! ;)

9:09 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, Amazing just amazing. Congrats and the POS sounds like a neat thing. One question you said you didn't want to leave your n00bness like training for some better skills yet your a n00b with 1.1 billion dollars lol, i think its time you get a better ship and amass your army of n00b followers and wtfpwn people. Face it your not a n00b anymore lol. Give in and take the next step of running a corporation of n00bs and hold your own.


9:48 pm  

I am too attached to my n00bness.

It will be difficult to break free of it.

11:40 pm  
Anonymous Ket Halpak said...

An outpost is a great idea for investing all that ISK, although it might take considerably more to build one, im sure there are people out there that are willing to buy more shares to help you build an outpost. I would like to volounteer(sp?) to help with the hauling of compenents and security of the sector in which you choose to place the outpost.

If you do choose to build an outpost, you should choose a system that is accessable to everyone, and where no one has to pass through alliance controlled space to reach it.

12:55 am  
Anonymous DeltaMav said...

dont take her back inno, im sure there is another girl out there who you could exploit for some isky.

1:02 am  
Anonymous Ket Halpak said...

Check that link out, its a guide on creating an outpost. Unfortunately it looks like you fall shart of the required 30 billion isk required to build an outpost.

6:59 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

An outpost is a brilliant idea and would help Eve and 0.0 tremendously. CCP wants us to get out into 0.0 more and you could be a huge part in organising that. I am sure through the contacts you have made in 0.0 that they would help you out and I am sure there are more people out there that would donate to such a brilliant cause. There are thousands of small corps out there that are just dying to get out into 0.0 but these large alliances dont accept small corps. With the isk you have you should create an alliance and get loads of smaller corps to join you. I know I certainly would join you with my small corp. Just think you could etch your name in the history of Eve as being the saviour of Noobs lol.

10:05 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dont even think about spending your money on anything else but a bubble-bath (build into your egg), massages, celeb-events, hot drinks and hot women !

And oh, yes ... buy a ticket for the BIG-Lottery and win another 500 mill for kicks.

Or do your own Inno-Lottery ... win a shuttle or 100 mill cash :-)

Have fun

Ian Novarider

12:04 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


don't you all know that you need many many skills to effective mine in 0.0 space. And those npc rats are also a big danger for noobs. Having an noob Outpost there where noone of you noobs docked there can even hurt the rat's in the belt is not really a good idea. How do you want to mine with npc rats in the belt who destroy you every time you jump in?

12:57 pm  

Good question, we would need some resident heroic guardians, to nurture and nurse the n00bs whle they valiantly mine in their bantams...

1:06 pm  
Anonymous Gius Adoma said...

Well you could hire the miners coallation to protect your outpost! and fire their mining lasers on the rats!.

outpost would be a good idea, but would cost a fortune!

Dont take missy back lol

3:37 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you now have a player supported income to buy that new car you have been drooling over. All thanks to EBAY....

6:40 am  
Blogger Innuendo said...

I'm amazed. Man I think you must be some kind of genius, noone has ever done what you've done in this game, even the 50M SP powergamerz... You're probably one of EVE's greatest explorer/diplomat.


Now what you gonna do whith all that money ?

2:38 pm  

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