Tuesday, September 12, 2006

The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 044 - The Longest Journey (Part 3)

The Longest Journey (Part 3)

I had enjoyed my time with the Mining Coalition but it was becoming increasingly unlikely that my plans for murder would come to fruition. I had even gone so far as to desperately submit an official contract on their Field Geology website:




Out of annoyance I decided to tease my compatriots a bit:




My conscience was playing on me more than a miniature orchestra balanced on my stomach, and I began to have second thoughts about the idea of engineering Missy's macabre downfall.


I decided to seek some advice from a random person:




It was at that moment that the culmination to the events of my longest of days began.

A woman called "Jessica Serrato" suddenly burst into the system where the rock collectors were based, shouted "Yaaaaar", and then proceeded to announce that she was intending to cause utter mayhem and destruction by launching a relentless onslaught against us all:



Squagel's words resonated and rebounded in my head like forty-nine lottery balls spinning and bouncing and cascading in a machine that sucked the life and soul out of poor people's incomes every week:


"Everyone has a price, Inno. Everyone has a price"


My new friends were apparently being violently and viciously assaulted in a staged charade of an attack by the evil Jessica, who was clearly their friend and had been asked to do this purely for my benefit...

They were desperately wanting to enlist me to stave off the horrific hoax by this merciless vixen. Surely I could not compromise my neutrality by willingly opening fire on her. I decided to resolutely remain strong and vowed not to waver in my steadfast righteousness:



I had declined the humungous sum of 500 million isk and beads of sweat were rapidly forming on my brow, as my brain began to process the consequences of this mighty refusal.

All of a sudden, a switch suddenly flicked, deep inside the abyss of my mind, and the impulse to kill overwhelmed me. I informed my fellow pilots that I was going to ruthlessly train shield management to level 1 for 23 minutes, and would then fight.


Surprisingly, the monstrous assailant Jessica was more than happy to wait...


The training completed and I mercilessly grabbed the biggest and most deadly ship I could find, and armed myself with a fearsome 125mm compressed coil antimatter gun:



As I undocked, I saw that a cynosural field was open near to the station. I succeeded in putting the absolute fear of God into Jessica, by making it appear that I had just jumped into the system through the field, using my advanced "t3 Ibis Capital Ship":



Numerous other pilots quickly joined the gang and we began to hunt down this mean and rampant friend of theirs. A few minutes later, the target had been acquired and I found an unspeakable tumultuous fury building inside of me:



Within no time we had violently destroyed her cruiser and a surge of adrenalin pulsed through me. During my adventure thus far, I had never, not once, ever fired a single shot at another player.

I now found myself like Macbeth, with blood on my hands and wondering if I could ever return to being that innocent n00b I once was.

It had clearly been a contrived attacked, but for some reason this did not matter. The experience had forever changed me and I was fearful of the monster that I had now shockingly become...


(to be continued...)

18 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

first blood!

9:54 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thou shall never forget the first blood you spilled...
and eventually you will not be able to live without it... you have become... vampire of the pods (get some nosferatu's on your ship, that gives you even more jiuce from your prey)

10:55 am  
Anonymous Skipper Johnson said...

Cool. I'm glad you gave up on your foolish notion of hiring Mining Coalition to attack us Bible bashing Arrow Project. (I'm pretty sure we sent you quite a bit of money, so we weren't very impressed with you wanting to use that money hiring these fearsome warriors against us - we would have asked for it back).

11:27 am  
Blogger INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE said...

LOL, skipper. I don't recall saying I changed my mind yet.....

11:59 am  
Anonymous Frac Tal said...

Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.

1:11 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

RIP ! SHRED ! TEAR !

We are mean, we are green , we are ORKSES,

flying through space, flying through the cosmos

we dont know where until we are there, we are ORKSES,

MAIM ! KILL ! RIP !

DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA POW POW POW

WAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHH

-----------------------------

(Innominate turned down the dark path of the cold blooded ship killer ... when will he suck the juices out of a broken pod and feast on the cooling flesh of the frozen corpse within ?)

Have fun

Ian Novarider

2:04 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Killer sound effects anon. Let me add to the atmosphere with ...

Bang! Wang! Tang!
Whoosh! Shmoosh! Goose!
Errk! Wirk! Lurk!

Thus spoke Dr. Seuss...

-Xtravius

3:28 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is blood in the waters now...can you feel it? can you feel the rush??? Nothing like it in the world!!! a bit longer and a bit more training and you'll be your own death squad... LOL

4:33 pm  
Anonymous Alpine 69 said...

yarrrr....

let the bodies hit the floor!

5:05 pm  
Anonymous Id said...

About damn time. Doesn't it feel good to be the shooter and not the shootee?

5:44 pm  
Anonymous Sonic Slayer said...

Ahh INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE, if you are to continue on this dark path then let me offer some mantras of DarkSide Inc. "The feelings of the powerless do not matter, the feelings of the powerful can be exploited." and remember, "You must be prepared to lose your own life in order to win."

5:50 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should have made your "price" for killing Jessica a free contract against Missy....

6:52 pm  
Blogger INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE said...

Unfortunately, I turned down 500 million isk and then killed Jessica for free anyway......

7:13 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We want to see the kill mail!!!

9:18 pm  
Blogger INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE said...

http://bdci.killboard.net/?p=details&id=21176

11:45 pm  
Anonymous Mirasta said...

Great to see you getting your pew pew on inno

9:05 am  
Anonymous Axe Mahoney said...

Hah, I remember back in my noob days, getting popped by Jessica Serrato.

6:23 am  
Anonymous Komen said...

Pew Pew Pew!

Alas, Inno has turned to the PvP side. Another innocent corrupted by the thrill.

3:51 am  

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