Saturday, September 09, 2006

The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 041 - Contract Killers

Contract Killers

Earlier in my adventure, and in a random conversation that is now more obscure than a man who once knew someone who was related to the man who once walked past a man who had amnesia and couldn't remember the famous person he had once met, it had been mentioned to me that there existed in EVE an organisation of brave and fearless mercenaries, who were strictly neutral to every alliance, but would ruthlessly and horrifically attack anyone they had been hired to ravage and besiege.

I had been told that they were sophisticated and very highly skilled pilots, who were admired and respected, and that through their sheer determination and professional ruthlessness, their organisation "The Mercenary Coalition" had become one of the most feared alliances in EVE.

It was said that they would attack anyone for a price and showed absolutely no mercy when they did so.

It was then that my six-point plan to inherit Missy's fortune was hatched:

1) Get in touch with the Mercenary Coalition alliance.

2) Get them to make me "blue" to them.

3) Get them to invite me to their home.

4) Get them to let me install a clone at their headquarters.

5) Get them to become great friends with me.

6) Get them to help their new friend out by brutally podding Missy, free of charge.

A few hours later, and after having flown through a system where there were two people who were the same person...

...I found myself sitting back and relaxing as I sipped a chilled Martini with my great new friends, in their noble home at the Mercenary Coalition headquarters, where I had just been made blue and had installed my clone:

Easy Peasy. All I needed to do now was to get these professional killers to agree to brutally pod my girlfriend, so that I could elope with with my "bit on the side" Frivolous, to live a life of illicit lust in a dusty asteroid belt somewhere.

Naturally, and as is always the case with such things, I expected that the sixth item on my list was going to be substantially more difficult to achieve than the first five.

I decided to put off my assassination request until later in the evening and set about finding out what exactly it was that these big strong brutish mercenaries did.

Images were conjured up in my mind of a team of astonishing expert warriors, heroically rampaging through the enemy infested jungles of terror, in the deep dark recesses of the murky domain of an evil and corrupt regime, somewhere in the outer reaches of a desolate nowhere, in order to valiantly free the terrorised local residents from the overlord of darkness who mercilessly chained them in utter deprivation and misery.

I was sure that these guys were true heroes and couldn't wait to see them valiantly springing into action.

However, this is what I actually saw:

After having made this most shocking of discoveries, I decided that discretion was the better part of valour and vowed to myself that I would keep this quiet for at least two seconds.

However, 1.9 seconds later, and after having concluded that this situation was just far too funny to ignore, I changed my mind quicker than a brain-transplant surgeon performing a self-diagnosis, and decided to tease these violent mercenaries a bit more about their incredible secret rock fetish:

I then learned that the Mercenary Coalition consisted of four major corporations, and had several bosses. The chief went by the name of Seleene and was a feared and notorious killer, who I was informed would not hesitate to dock at the first sign of trouble.

Something alarmingly peculiar then happened, that was to change the very face of my adventure...

(to be continued...)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh common!!!! Don't leave us hanging like this!

12:15 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love this blog ... you are making EVE inetresting again.

However I do not think 0.0 is a challenge... Like you saw for yourself gathering riches there are easy. Come and survive empire (hgh sec >0.5) and make the same amount of isk there ...

2:59 pm  

The 1.0 experiment? A frightened n00b plunges headfirst into the scary domain of high security space. Hmmmm....

5:30 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Take it from someone who knows all sides of the story ... the most wicked place to be is Empire low security space (0.1-0.4) and/or gateway systems into 0.0 space. 0.0 space is secure and safe compared to that. Take a look at such fun places as Old Man Star or Aeschee.

Have fun

Ian Novarider

5:53 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"..I found myself sitting back and relaxing as I sipped a chilled Martini with my great new friends, in their noble home at the Mercenary Coalition headquarters, where I had just been made blue and had installed my clone:"

WTF! You didn't explain how this came about at all?

OK it's funny but was it really that easy? Hehe

11:23 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude hes famous as shit now he probably has vip status everywhere in 0.0

5:04 am  

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