The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 089 - Opposing Forces (Part 3)

Opposing Forces (Part 3)

A little while later, I entered into a sparkling conversation with a Dark & Light pilot named "Temper", with whom I eagerly discussed the thrilling BoB vs ASCN war in more detail than the invisible paintings of a molecular nanoartist:



Like a man lifting his duvet and finding a glowing golden question mark etched into his bed-sheets, I wondered if I had discovered a puzzling clue to the underlying fabric of events in this universe...

I had always enjoyed a good conspiracy theory, and as I sat there on my grassy knoll, forcefully giving myself a freemasonic handshake, I wondered if any more secrets of the universe would stylishly reveal themselves to me in an unadulterated blaze of cheese.


Temper also found himself being dragged into the conspiracy:




Perhaps all of this division and war throughout EVE was a clever illusion, designed to hoodwink the masses into complicit acceptance of the overfiends who ruled them by stealth, slowly sucking their individuality from their consciousness, and advancing their nefarious plans for eternal world domination with each and every ominous passing second....


I then made an earth-shattering discovery:




I had discovered what no other EVE pilot had ever realised, and what the loyal members of the alliance "orchestra of siblings" would never ever know:


Their leader spends his evenings refining lumps of scordite...


Not entirely dissimilarly to a woman grappling with a roast potato fresh out of the oven, I decided that this information was just far too hot to handle, and I quite sensibly decided to bury the truth in true conspiratorial fashion: by openly hiding it in full public view...

The conversation stayed with the "overlords" topic, but moved from the south to the north, when I was surprisingly asked if I still hated the low-budget comedy veteran Emilio Estevez:



Perhaps after I had explored BoB space, I would stylishly return to Venal for a trip down memory lane. I recorded a note in my journal to remind myself of my intent to nostalgically revisit Emilio's northern empire.

A little while later, another member of ASCN entered the system and struck up a controversial conversation with me regarding a topic that is dear to the heart of every young adventurer:


N00b ships




I felt like I was standing at the dawning of a new era, for I had unveiled the holy secret of the shining Ibis, for all and sundry to gloriously purvey with astonished eyes, and a warming heart.

Never again would a n00bescent player need to spend so many torturously agonising hours mining veldspar in Jita, when the inclusion of one simple mining drone in their Ibis would multiply their income to previously unsurpassed levels of decadent wealth.


I hoped that n00bkind would be enriched by my discovery.


I was so excited by this revelation that I found myself uncontrollably playing with my left nipple. I am pleased to report that I rapidly stopped myself before anyone in Local noticed my perverse activity...

I quickly covered up my shameful self-stimulation, and entered into a conversation with another D&L pilot, who had once been the subject of a classic song by Eric Clapton:



In fact, the opening verse of this timeless ditty really struck a chord with me, and promptly sent me into a melodic and sentimental analysis of my adventure:


# What'll you do when you get lonely,
And nobody's waiting by your side?
You've been running and hiding much too long,
You know it's just your foolish pride. #


At that moment I felt like the Littlest Hobo, and I wondered if one day I would ever settle down at a place that I could call my home...


(to be continued...)