The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 082 - Smash And Crash

Smash And Crash

Being in FDZ4-A once more brought a ton of memories flooding back to me. This was the very first station I had ever visited, right at the beginning of my n00bish adventure into the dark wilderness.

Feeling in a reflective and sentimental mood, I decided to contact the woman with whom I once had a provocative and enticing entanglement:



Luckily, a quick search on the internet revealed that my shocking words are now considered to be positive terms amongst ladies who like ladies, and I was relieved that I had not violently offended any women who like like...

Missy appeared not to be annoyed that I had had an affair behind her back, which had caused her to have an affair behind my back, which had resulted in a scandalous and painful relationship breakup.

A little while later, I received a huge blast from the past, when I noticed that a bible bashing minion of the Arrow Project was docked with me:



I had not suffered any of their rampant brainwashing attempts for a long time, and what with there being a distinct lack of psychologists in 0.0, I was concerned that if they managed to get to me, there would be no way to save myself.

I was absolutely terrified that at the hands of these Arrow Project zealots, I could traumatisingly find myself being cornered in a cul-de-sac dead-end system, with the only way out being viciously guarded by the following four people:



Luckily, I was quickly able to put these horrific thoughts out of my mind, when I was abruptly distracted by a buzzing stinger of a pilot who went by the name of Wasp O'Ryan.

Wasp was a member of "Smash Alliance", whom I knew absolutely nothing about. He kindly took the time to explain who they were, and I was able to locate their home systems on my digital cartography mechanism:




Holy Station Stealing, Batman!


Well, being presented with this horrific news, I had no choice but to immediately storm down there to confront them. After all, I was considering the idea of building my own station, and news such as this indicated just how easily they can be lost to murderous attackers of doom, hell-bent on destroying your work...

I eventually arrived at their menacing citadel, and upon quickly making a brave and heroic safespot in a random place in their sickening stolen station system, I was greeted with a ridiculously sarcastic attempt to flush me out and murder me in the usual brutal fashion:



I decided to hold my nerve and to valiantly remain in my hole, out of an act of abject defiance. By this point I was feeling distinctly hunted, and could smell their minions prowling around, eagerly waiting to smash and crash my little shuttle into oblivion.

I resolved that I had no choice but to start talking rapidly, since the fear of my imminent death was now reaching fever pitch. I quickly engaged them in a pointless conversation about their deadly foes, only to find that I had surprisingly accidentally begun an exciting philosophical discussion about the nature of time-travel:



Now whenever someone raises the time travel issue, there is always a smart-alec who decides to ask the age-old question about what happens if you go back in time and kill your father....



Perhaps, despite the extensive smashing, these people just might not be so bad after all. I had enjoyed the temporal mechanics conversation but I couldn't help thinking that their station-stealing past was more worrying than being told you are currently in first place in a "lack-of-worrying contest" to win a trillion isk, but that things could worryingly change at any moment...


(to be continued...)