Wednesday, September 06, 2006

The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 038 - A Very Tempting Affair

A Very Tempting Affair

When I had first arrived at ASCN space, I had become acquainted with one of the pilots who had been part of my noble and valiant armed escort:

Brunswick flew a battleship and regularly hired people to haul the loot that dropped from all the rats he frequently killed in the asteroid belts. He asked me if I would like to try this job out and I was more than happy to accept. The pay was 50% of all the bounties on the rats, plus a share of the wonderful loot.

While I was waiting for the first batch of rats to be pummelled by Brunswick, he took the opportunity to teach me some more about the history of ASCN:

I had never heard of Xetic, so this was useful information for me. I had trained Caldari Industrial to Level 3 and was able to now fly a Badger II hauler. Unfortunately, I subsequently discovered that collecting loot without a tractor beam is an incredibly slow process.

Brunswick had to fit one instead, because I did not have the science skill trained to level four yet. Nonetheless, we cleaned out three asteroid belts in a short period of time and at the end I had made 3 million isk in bounties, plus a big stash of loot:

I had now experienced three jobs in 0.0. My first was running a complex with Helen and my second was mining Crimson Arkonor. All three of these jobs were very profitable and I concluded that, of the three, the hauling job is probably the safest and best way for a n00b to start making money out here.

I was very glad that I had previously purchased the skill Infomorph Psychology because ASCN had let me install a jumpclone in the love shack, which meant that I could now instantly jump to that system to visit my new friends there whenever I wanted to.

I thanked Brunswick for his time and finally flew out of ASCN space for the first time since I had arrived here. I had developed a taste for caviar and champagne and I hoped that I would not miss it too much.

As I was flying through the first few systems in Stain, I was unexpectedly contacted by a stunning young wench, who went by the name of Frivolous:

Frivolous was a very forward woman who made it clear from the outset that she unequivocably was here to serve my every need and was prepared to ruthlessly pod my girlfriend Missy if it meant getting her hands on me. I was excited by the idea of having two women fight over me and took a moment to compare them both:

Frivolous was the younger, inexperienced and more attractive looking woman, but MissyTrex was the wiser, more knowledgable, wealthy goth with a large wallet to boot. I found myself struggling to come to a decision and it was then that I gave in to temptation and decided to encourage Frivolous to put her shocking suggestion into effect:

I was proposing that frivolous take her first n00b job as an assassin. It was an exciting idea and I indicated that if she could manage to pull it off, I would be willing give her 10% of Missy's vastly outrageous fortune.

Part of me felt very guilty about this plan but the lure of the mountain of cash was stronger than the world's strongest man chopped into a million pieces, mixed with steel, punched a thousand times by Mike Tyson, placed in an urn and prayed over by five hundred warrior monks, sent to a DNA re-configuration lab and then reassembled into a man who was christened with the name Strongy Strong.

My attention was suddenly snapped back to the present, as for the first time in ages I was ruthlessly being shot at by an evil vagabond...

(to be continued...)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol, I love it.

10:43 pm  
Blogger Daz said...

"and then reassembled into a man who was christened with the name Strongy Strong."

That last bit is defiantly the best bit so far!

Your stuffs great and i hope your wenches film the bitch fight ;) you could sell it for isk eh ;)

1:55 am  

Great idea, Daz. I could become rich off of an illicit black market in EVE bitchfights. They could be the Pamela and Tommy Lee of the MMO world....

2:48 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"she has extremely larg assets" yeah i bet you know how big they truly are. Anyway good luck with ascn even though we are mortal enemies.


3:06 am  
Blogger SNOMAD said...

Inspirational to the extent i am now 30 jumps into 0.0 as far north as it seem you can go at a safe spot where the locals do not seem to speak english at all.

12:47 pm  
Anonymous Vennilia B said...

Absolute gold! :D

2:33 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wonder if Moe knows one of his mining bitches is wandering from the fold...

3:43 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't want to spoil your evil plans but even in case your new, more sexier friend, will manage to kill and pod MissyTrex you will not have access to her assets, at least not material ones :).
Only thing you guys will be left with is cargo container after explosion of her ship. Best items usually get destroyed anyway, so it doesnt seem very profitable to me.

Anyway keep up good work, Im following your adventures closely.


11:48 pm  

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