The Eve Online 0.0 Experiment - Post 091 - Total Annihilation
There are many possible ultimate questions, and I took a moment to ponder over some of the more worthy candidates:
What is the meaning of life?
How did the universe begin?
What is 6 x 7?
What's the opposite of "inbetween opposite and like"?
Why is it usually he who smelt it who dealt it?
In the end, I opted for this ultimate question:
Well to say I was flabberghasted would be playing the situation down more than a pianist descending through two octaves of C-Minor in a subterranean concert hall.
The Robert Alliance had no qualms about publically flaunting the fact that their goal was nothing less than the total and utter annihilation of every other alliance on the map!
I could barely bring myself to steady my shaking pod upon hearing this foul news.
To me this was absolutely incredible. This boisterous family had publically declared their intention to own everything, thereby causing a flood of carebear refugees to partake of a grand exodus to the loving arms of empire space, with nothing more than a few Miner II lasers and some shimmering minerals to sustain them.
Why didn't the other alliances unite to eliminate this threat?
It would appear that the Band Of Brothers are an unstoppable force, set to win the map by conquest. I had only heard of Celestial Apocalypse standing up against them thus far. Perhaps there were others, although news of this had not yet reached me.
ASCN (who outnumber BoB greatly) had been suffering defeats in the early stages of the war with BoB, which was a fact that some commentators had put down to them needing time to adjust from being an industrial alliance to a fearsome fighting force. If the biggest alliance in EVE could not yet defeat BoB, then who could?
Like a man chopping onions whilst staring goggle-eyed at a country full of polygamists, I cried extensively over this state of affairs.
I munched on some chocolate munchkins and I smilingly recalled a time far back into the pages of history, where in a past life I had jumped to the defence of humanity, and had solved a similar dilemma, far off in the western spiral arm of a little known galaxy:
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I immediately grabbed a pair of clippers and I cut some very sharp and piercing spikes into my toenails, in case I would ever find myself trapped in Robert's dungeons, and in need of a sharp object to sneakily pick the lock on my cell.
I enquired further about the war:
I had previously discovered that SirMolle was an anagram of "I SELL MOR", which had led me to suspect that the leader of BoB was a closet industrialist, and it would appear that Blacklight's shocking new revelation that BoB do indeed engage in industrial activities heavily supported my conclusion...
I started to relax just a tad, and I opened one of my few remaining pampering kits that ASCN had given me on my first visit to the love shack.
After then applying a strawberry leg-waxing strip to my right thigh, and sipping on an instant Moccacino with aniseed bursts, I decided to ask these people if their reputation of being crazed and deranged killers was in any way reflective of the truth:
It had been a very interesting meeting, and although I felt sad for the carebears who ultimately would find themselves brutally extinguished under the iron boots of the ever-encroaching BoB war machine, I had to admire their total honesty in publically stating their goals, and their utter determination in following through with them.
As I fired up the engines in my shuttle and left the system, I stubbed my toe on the metallic base of my control panel, and due to my designer toe-nail spikes piercing it, I ended up electrocuting myself...
(to be continued...)